Title: Plaid Skirt
Raiting: At most a mild R
Disclaimer: I don’t own them, I’ll never own the, I haven’t even met them!! And Emma, Thank You!! You’re a life saver!! Love you sweetheart!!
(This is actually from a real interview on the radio, it can be found on str8girl’s page. I’ve tried to write out what they’re saying, but since my first language is not English I think that I’ve heard things wrong… But this is what I heard.)
Interviewer: "We have Jai Rodriguez , is Jai Rodriguez on the line, from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy which can be seen tonight at ten o’clock eastern time on BRAVO, a new episode, it’s been too long since they’ve had a new episode and Jai’s with us. Jai, good morning!"
Jai: "How are you?"
Interviewer: "How are you doing?"
Jai: "I’m doing great!"
Interviewer: "Yeah. Why did you guys take off so much time? We need you back on the air!"
Jai: "You know, I don’t think anyone’s been expecting this much demand as we filmed under. It’s been like we’ve got to get back to production. So we’ve been busting our busts to get a new episode out there."
Interviewer: "Yeah I got to tell you it’s really unbelievable, I would imagine for you guys too, who were just gathered together. I can’t even imagine what the process was like. Some producer comes and says: let’s do a show, we get five gay guys and have them give advice on fashion and eating and culture and how to shave, which by the way the best advice I’ve got, how to shave."
Jai: "How to shave? Yeah, me too."
Interviewer: "And it’s turning to a hit show!"
Interviewer 2: "What’s the shaving advice for those who didn’t see??"
Interviewer 3: "Slow."
Interviewer 2: "If you’re not gonna tune in, if you’re not gonna be a fan…"
Interviewer: "I’m trying to be a fan. Just because I wear plaid doesn’t mean I don’t like the show!"
Jai: "You see, I kind of like plaid."
Interviewer 1+2+3: *Cheering*
Interviewer: "Jai, I cleaned out my whole closet of plaid after I saw that episode."
Interviewer 3: "Oh, did we loose him?"
Interviewer 2: "Maybe that was his big signing hour?"
Interviewer 3: "Just when he was giving us good advice."
Interviewer 2: "Maybe his producers are saying: You can’t say you like plaid! Everyone knows that plaid is out this year!"
Interviewer: "It’s unbelievable! I got, I’m telling you, I saw the episode where Carson got rid of all the plaid, and I cleaned out my closet, and now he’s telling me he likes plaid! Is Jai back?"
Jai: "I like plaid, suddenly I was, you know, disconnected."
Interviewer: "So wait I was saying, I cleaned out my whole closet after I saw the episode where you got rid of all the plaid and now you’re telling me you like plaid?"
Jai: "Well, Carson hates plaid. But I think in size and god measure in some institutes can be right flattering, but that’s me, I’m the culture guy."
Interviewer: "Like a kilt, so if you’re wearing a kilt you’ll be okay."
Carson listened in shock at the radio interview. Jai was actually promoting PLAID? How could Jai do this to him? After all his work of telling America that plaid was a no-no! Oh Jai was so going to get it!
The next weekday when they met at the office Carson immediately went to attack.
"How could you do that to me?"
Jai stood there, looking confused. "Do what?"
"Telling people on the radio that you like plaid!"
"But I do! And I think it can look good too!"
"Plaid can not look good, Jai. It’s a rule or something!"
"I bet that I can make plaid look good, so that even YOU think it looks good!"
"And if you loose??"
By now the rest of the Fab 5 had come over and was listening amused to the conversation between the fashion savant and the culture vulture.
"I’ll come along on one of your shopping trips and carry all your bags. And if you loose?"
"I’ll let you dress me up as a girl. When are you going to do it?"
"Deal!" They shook hands as to seal the bet.
When Carson went home that evening he couldn’t help but think that Jai had had a slightly devilish glint in his eyes when they had made that bet.
The next day everyone besides Jai was in the office when Carson walked in.
"Why are you all here, I’m usually first you know!"
"Oh, please Carson!" Ted said. "We’re given the chance to see one of you be WRONG for a change!"
The rest of the people in the office agreed with him.
Thom couldn’t help but add: "Maybe this will put an end to all the fights you’ve been having…"
"Can’t you tell me what he’s up to, Thom?" Carson pleaded. "I mean, you are his ‘best friend’!"
"What makes you think that he’s been telling me anything? The only thing he’s said was that, and I quote, ‘this will be bloody brilliant’, so I have absolutely no clue to what he’ll be doing…"
Just then, Jai walked into the office, wearing a long haired wig, make up, a black tank top, a really short red plaid skirt and black high heals and struck a pose à la Angel. "Well, Carson! What do you say NOW?"
But before Carson could utter a thing, three different voices chimed in: "Jai wins!"
"I couldn’t agree more!"
"Damn, punkin! Could that skirt be ANY shorter?" Ah, that would be Thom.
"Actually, it can, but I didn’t fell like showing the entire WORLD my private bits… So Carson, did I win?"
"Why, oh why didn’t I choose something like ‘I’ll take you to a theatre show’ or ‘I’ll by you anything you want’ instead of ‘I’ll let you dress me up as a girl’!" Carson muttered.
"What, I can’t hear you?" Jai said, even though he had heard everything Carson had said.
"Fine! You win! You can look good in plaid! And I can’t believe I’m gonna be dressed up as a girl sometime in the future!!"
"Thank you Carson."
"Can we have the meeting now, gentlemen?" One of the Davids said.
"Gentlemen? Who’re you calling gentlemen? Carson was playing upset as he moved to sit down at the table. "I mean I have never been gentle and Jai, as you all can see, is NOT a man today!"
"Hey!" Jai had sat down and was in the process of taking off the wig. "I’ll have you know that I’m man enough for Thom!"
"Damn straight, and why are you taking the wig off?" Thom asked from his seat next to Jai. "You looked adorable in it!"
"I know, but it itches like hell!" Jai defended himself, but lowered his voice and leaned closer to Thom for what he would say next. "Wanna go to the bathroom later? There’s another reason as to why I’m not wearing a shorter skirt."
I think I'll have to warn you that now there won't be a new story for a while... This is very unusual for me, I usually have a couple of months between new stories... And I made a drawing of Jai in that skirt, if only I had a scanner... *wishes*